Love in short is indescribable. It’s felt strongly and expectedly, yet still intangible. Throw romance in the discussion and it really gets complicated. I’m not a relationship guru or expert on any type of love to be quite frank. Luckily for me, I have become very familiar with how I do and do not want to be loved.
In July 2015 while contemplating breaking up with my then boyfriend I could not rest. 4:00am, dry eyed I have no one to talk to and a ton of mixed emotions weighing on me. There was nothing I could do, but write. So write I did. As the expressions came together I had something, finally. I found a way to scratch the surface of what I wanted to feel like “in love”.
Reading over my words I realized my relationship felt nothing like what I wrote. I had not previously and would not in the future feel that way about my then boyfriend so why was I with him? I could not sell myself short or settle on my definition of love. I broke up with him of course. There is your context for the poem below. As always I hope you enjoy!
I want love that feels like rain in the desert
Overwhelmingly quenching my thirst like rain the drought
Love more radiant than the sun on a summer day warming the depths of my soul
Love that rushes like an autumn wind
Not a gentle summer breeze
I will not settle for a lake when I am worth the ocean
I want something that erupts inside of me
Makes me spill over into others lives about how great our love is
If the love is not a force of nature
I do not want it